Ordos TEFL: Funny Exam Answers
In which I give you funny exam answers
I can hear you call cry, “oh no! Not another post!” But fear not, for this will not be a long one. I just thought I’d share a couple of funny things that happened today at school, mainly to do with funny exam answers.
So I was doing exams today, and had a crib sheet to read off, with 4 sections and various pictures and questions that the students had to answer. The first section of my C1 sheet (which is the lowest Aston level to get tested) had a picture of a ball, a chair, a horse and an elephant on. Simple enough you think, when all I have to ask is “What is it?” A perfect response would be “It’s a ball” “It’s an elephant” etc, but most of my students plumped for “ball” “elephant”. Not technically wrong, but also not the full sentence answer I was after.
Step up my student who I am sure has multiple learning disabilities/not all the lights turned on. I pointed to the elephant and asked “what is it?” And this is the answer I got:
“It’s a banana.”
Now, they actually managed “It’s a” but how the hell do you come up with “banana?!” If it was a monkey, I could possibly see the relevant link in the mind, but even then, when does a monkey, or even an elephant, look like a banana? Needless to say, this student pretty much failed the class. And it’s not my teaching thank you very much. Whilst this students got 4/20, most of the others were getting 15-17… But still, unbelievable.
My other funny from today was my final class of the day, my 5 C7 girls who are all very intelligent. Their exam was obviously a little harder than a “point and tell me” and I have them for 2 hours so I’d promised that after I’d finished testing them we’d just play games. This ended up me checking their English homework from school too, but I digress. We played M.A.S.H. which for those who don’t know is a kind of fortune telling game where you predict who someone is going to marry, what job they are going to have, what transport, what pet and what salary. Needless to say it’s all about the sillier the better. So asking for a job, one of the girls, who initially in the classes was rather quiet and has since come out of her shell, responded to suggestions for jobs with “monkey king.” None of us could help actually laughing out loud, and this continued when she suggested another job of “snow pig.” We all asked what a “snow pig” did, but in the end found out she really meant Snoopy. I’m still not sure what Snoopy does, but on her go she ended up with her job as just that.
Anyway, it’s football time now. I am sure I will have more funny exam answers for you tomorrow.